There were 3 roosters a straight one, a retarted one, and a gay one. The straight one said cock-a-doodle-doo, the dumb one said Ak-a-ak-a-hoo, and the gay one said Any-cock-'ll-do.
Stoudie3@Hotmail.com
What does Bill Clinton like on his sandwich?
Answer: Monicas tits
scooter_c88@yahoo.com
Old mother hoberd went to the coberd to get her dog a bone.
And when she bent over the dog took over and gave her a bone of his own.
apasupermen@aol.com
Sa bayan ng Naga City,ay marami pa na ang mga hanapbuhay ay kalesa. At mayroong kutsero doon, na ang kanyang kabayo pag nakakita ng magandang babae ay tumitigas ang kanyang ari. Isang araw, sa gitna ng trapik ay nakakita ng magandang babae ang kanyang kabayo. Iyan ang dahilan kung kaya nagkabuhol-buhol ang trapiko. At galit na galit ang pulis sa kutsero dahil sa nangyari. Sabi ng pulis, alisin mo iyang kabayo mo.
Sagot ng kutsero, sir hindi po iyan lalakad hanggang matigas ang kanyang ari. Kung gusto ninyo ay subukan ninyong paalisin. Pero kahit anong gawin ng pulis ay hindi niya ito mapaalis. Sa inis ng pulis, sinabihan niya ang kutsero na babarilin niya ang kabayo. Sabi ng kutsero, wag ho sir at iyan lang ang hanapbuhay ko. Hayaan ninyo ho at ako na ang bahala. Sa pagtataka ng pulis ay biglang lumiit ang ari ng kabayo. Kaya tinanong niya ang kutsero kung ano ang kanyang ginawa. Sikreto ko ho iyon. Sabi ng pulis, babarilin ko ang iyong kabayo pag hindi mo sinabi kung ano ang iyong ginawa. Pero wag ho kayong magalit? Sabi ng kutsero sa pulis. Sabi ng pulis, hindi ako magagalit. Sabi ng kutsero, Sir sabi ko ho sa kabayo, pag hindi mo iyan pinaliit ay sisipsipin iyan ng pulis.
Zenki Z_2kwarriors@hotmail.com
*May BWISITa*
knock! knock! knock!!!
BWISITa: TAE po? este, tao po?
May ARI ng bahay: SINUKAyo?
BWISITa: si MAY O. Tong at si MOY B. LASA po ito.
May ARI ng bahay: ahh?kayo PALAKA la ko kung sino na? TULIy at PUKEyo.
BWISITa: salamat po, pero TITIyo nalang PUKEme. Meron din PUKEming dalang PEKPEK ng manok para po sa inyo.
May ARI ng bahay: o, salamat. Gusto niyo ba ng maiinom, juice. Meron kaming TANGINA glass.
BWISITa: salamat po! Nasaan po ba ang anak niyo?
May ARI ng bahay: nanDUDOon sa ITA-ASS, TUMATAE.
BWISITa: ahh? (bumaba ang anak galing itaas)
Anak: HAY Opo kayo.
BWISITa: sige na nga.
Anak: o bakit hindi niyo DINIDIgdagan ng TANGAng mga juices ninyo?
Sige na PUTA little more.
BWISITa: akala namin, aalis na tayo?
Anak: oo nga pala?may ARI (tawag sa tatay niya)?aalis na PUKEmeng tatlo.
May ARI ng bahay: o sige?mag-AANGHIT kayong lahat ha.
Anak: oPUTAy?maTITIyak niyo po yan.
May ARI ng bahay: okay, bye anak, MAY O.TONG at MOY B. LASA.
Azndeezkohdncer@aol.com
One man that was a international pimp saw this sexy woman he just wanted to get with. He walked on over to her and sez, I got to marry you so marry me. The woman agreed to marry him on three conditions.
Condition 1, get me a 14 carat ring with over 10,000 dollars worth of diamonds in it.
He calls someone and talks for a little while and said... yes buy, buy. The ring is delivered and he gives her the ring.
Then she said okay get me a house on the beach and a house in the french vine yards, He said okay, makes some calls and after talking for a while sez yes buy both spot buy, buy.
Well you have your houses now what. Well She wasn't really wanting to marry him so she makes the last one a hard one, your Penis must be exactly 10 inches. He put's his head in is hand and start to cry. He then lookes up and said okay i cut, I cut.
by Brock Yates
Brockyus@yahoo.com
Sunod-sunod pumasok ang Pari at Madre sa CR.
Madre: Father, ano po ba ang hawak ninyo?
Pari: Ah ito? Wala, patay lang ito. Eh iyan, ano yan?
Madre: Ah ito ba kamo? Ito ay kabaong Father.
Pari: Ala, ilagay na natin ang patay sa kabaong.
Nakita ng janitor at naki-osyoso.
Pari: Oi! Anong ginagawa mo dito?
Janitor: Wala Father, nakikilamay lang.
by Celcris Biscocho
cag242001@yahoo.com
Pokemon Collection:
1. Giant Pokemon - Pokemong Malake
2. Paksiw na Pokemon - Pokemong maasim
3. Swimming Pokemon - Pokemong Basa
by rodpermejo@aol.com
ShuXian : anong tawag mo sa bird na marunong mag salita?
Hanniel : Edi parrot bird!!
ShuXian : ano naman ang tawag sa ibon na di marunong magsalita?
Hanniel : Ano?
Shuxian : edi TITI bird!!
by Shuxian Gong
shuxian@edsamail.com.ph
There was a fish in a stream and there also was fly above the stream. The fish said if that fly drops 3cm he can catch it.
There was a bear on the side of the stream. He said if that fly drops 3cm that fish, the fish is going to get that fly and he will get the fish.
Then their was a hunter up the stream.
He said if that fly drops 3cm that fish, the fish is going to get the fly, and the bear is going to get the fish, and he's going to catch the bear.
There was also a mouse behind the hunter. The mouse said if that fly drops 3cm, the fish is going to get the fly, and the bear is going to get the fish, and the hunter is going to get the bear and he is going to get the sandwich in the hunters back pocket.
Then their was a cat on the side of the stream and he said if that fly drops 3cm, that fish is
going to get the fly, that bear is going to get the fish, the hunter is going to get
the bear the mouse is going to get the sandwich and i am going to get the mouse.
So the fly drops 3cm. The fish gets the fly and the bear gets the fish, and the hunter gets the bear, and the mouse gets the sandwich. The cat falls in the stream.
The moral of the story is every time a fly drops 3cm a pussy gets wet.
by pornstar24388944@hotmail.com
Question: what size dress does Vanessa Feltz wear?
Answer: mark F - one size bigger than a mark E (marquee)
by mailjohnsaunders@yahoo.com
Story about the 3 rats: Sa bahay payabangan.
Daga 1: Pupunta ako sa mouse trap kakainin ko ang keso hinde ako makukulong!
Daga 2: Daga sabi kakain ako ng raccumin hinde ako mamatay!
Daga 3: Mga fren sama kayo sakin kakantot ako ng pusa.
by ocirrama@hotmail.com
How should COFFEE and your BOYFRIEND be alike?
1) He has to be rich.
2) He has to be hot.
3) He has to keep you up all night!
by janaque@gwapo.com
Q: What is the difference between a tire and 365 condoms?
A: One's a Good Year and one's a GREAT Year!!!
by UrdamJC@yahoo.com
Sa SUSOnod na mag text ka sa akin TITIyakin mo na walang halong kaBUSTusan kung hinde DEDEmanda kita, paFUCKulong pa. Pls lang naKIKInig kaba...
by maui_cute@yahoo.com
Giliw kong nilalangit,
Nilalangaw pati puwet,
Kung sa langit ikaw ay tala,
Sa lupa ikaw ay tekla.
Buhok mo'y alon-alon,
Kutong mo'y patong-patong,
Ngipin mo'y pantay-pantay,
Hininga mo'y amoy patay!
by sonic_blade_me@hotmail.com
9 Pm
husband: swit pede na ba?
wife: nde pa 10 PM
husband: swit pede na?
wife: nde pa eh...mamaya na 12 pm
husband: swit pede na ba? huhugutin ko na masaket na eh
by iskorpio888@hotmail.com