Green Joke No. 001
Q: When did Pinocchio find out that he's not human?
A: When he masturbated, anay ang lumabas!
Green Joke No. 002
Pro-erap rallyists envited Java, Kuh, Linsay, Monique and d Company
to a concert entitled: Ja-kuh-lin-mo-co Live!
For reservation: please call Master Bate.
Green Joke No. 003
May isang ama na sobrang bastos. May anak siyang dalagang babae. Isang araw, umuwi ang anak.
Anak: Tay! Na-rape ako ng mga lalaki sa kalsada.
Ama: Ha? Anong ginawa sa'yo?
Anak: Hinubad po ang bra ko.
Ama: Ano pa?
Anak: Hinubad po ang panty ko.
Ama: Cge pa, kuwento pa...
Anak: Tapos...
Ama: Teka, teka. Sa nanay mo nalang ikwento, tinitigasan ako.
Green Joke No. 004
A man consulted a doctor.
Man: Why is my penis yellow?
Doctor: Hmm. Soap and water would do. Just tell your girlfriend to stop eating Cheeze Curls.
Green Joke No. 005
Q: Pa'no mo malalaman kung taga-Dunkin ang ka-sex mo?
A: Pag ang sinagot - Sounds great! Tastes even better!
Green Joke No. 006
Erap in 3rd grade came home shouting.
Erap: Itay! Nanalo ako ng pahabaan ng ari.
Ama: Gago! Pa'no ka di mananlo e bente anyos ka na!
Green Joke No. 007
Q: Pa'no mo malalaman kung taga-Jollibee ang ka-sex mo?
A: Pag ang sinagot - Isa pa! Isa pa!
Green Joke No. 008
Q: Pa'no mo malalaman kung taga-McDonalds ang ka-sex mo?
A: Pag ang sinagot - Kay sarap ulitin!
Green Joke No. 009
Q: Pa'no mo malalaman kung taga-KFC ang ka-sex mo?
A: Pag ang sinagot - Finger linkin good!
Green Joke No. 010
3 women talking.
G1: Vaginal wash ko LACTACYD para laging fresh.
G2: Ako naman, BETADINE dahil tunay na antiseptic.
G3: Ako naman, FIT para pagkatapos maghugas, pwede nang kainin.
G4: Ako joy, isang patak, pwede titing sangkatutak.
Green Joke No. 011
Man buying condom.
Lady: What size sir?
Man: Um, I don't know.
Lady: Okay. May I hold your penis for the size?
Lady: I think your size is small, wait, medium, wait, large. Oh, ah shit, give me tissue.
Green Joke No. 012
SIR: Inday, si sir mo 'toh. Nabangga kotse ko. I need cash!
INDAY: Aru! Dugo-dugo gang ka noh?
SIR: Gagah! Si sir mo talaga 'toh!
INDAY: Aru! E sino yung nakapatong kay m'am?
Green Joke No. 013
SIR: Inday, si sir mo 'toh. Nabangga kotse ko. I need cash!
INDAY: Aru! Dugo-dugo gang ka noh?
SIR: Gagah! Si sir mo talaga 'toh!
INDAY: Gaguh! Nakapatong sa akin si sir noh!
Green Joke No. 014
SIR: Inday, si sir mo 'toh. Nabangga kotse ko. I need cash!
INDAY Aru! Dugo-dugo gang ka noh?
SIR: Gagah! Si sir mo talaga 'toh!
INDAY: Kung si sir ka, anong kulay ng panty ko kagabi?
Green Joke No. 015
SIR: Inday, si sir mo 'toh. Nabangga kotse ko. I need cash!
INDAY: Aru! Dugo-dugo gang ka noh? Bat wala kang number?
SIR: Gagah extension gamit ko. Punta ka dito sa kwarto hubad na ako!
Green Joke No. 016
SIR: Inday, si sir mo 'toh. Nabangga kotse ko. I need cash!
INDAY: Aru! Dugo-dugo gang ka noh?
SIR: Gagah! Si sir mo talaga 'toh!
INDAY: Hindi ikaw si sir, ang tawag sa akin ni sir ay "CUPCAKE"!
Green Joke No. 017
MAM: Inday, si mam mo 'toh. Nabangga kotse ko. I need cash!
NDAY: Aru! Aru! Dugo-dugo gang ka noh?
MAM: Gagah! Si mam mo talaga 'toh! Teka, bat aru ka nang aru?
NDAY: Kasi si sir kinakagat suso ko! ARUU!
Green Joke No. 018
A minister gave a talk to the Lions Club on sex. When he got home, he couldn't tell his wife that he had spoken on sex, so he said he had discussed horseback riding with the members.
A few days later, she ran into some men at the shopping center and they complimented her on the speech her husband had made.
She said, "Yes, I heard. I was surprised about the subject matter, as he's only tried it twice. The first time he got so sore he could hardly walk, and the second time he fell off."
Green Joke No. 019
Woman in restaurant sees the chef flattening the hamburger with his armpit.
Girl: That is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.
Chef: You should see how we make the donuts.
Green Joke No. 020
Ang tunay na SMB:
Sama Mo Babae, Silip Mo Boobs
Suklay Mo Buhok, Salat Mo Butas
Sipsip Mo Biyak, Saksak Mo Balon
Sakali Ma Buntis, Support Mo Bata
SMB!